Meeting Format

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Leader’s Format

  1. Good evening, my name is ______ and I am a sex addict.  This is a closed meeting, open only to those persons wishing to deal with their own sexual addiction.  Are there any other sex addicts present? Please raise your hand silently, remaining muted.
  2. Someone has been asked to read The Abstinence Statement.
  3. Will you please make sure you are still muted and join me in the Serenity Prayer?
    1. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
  4. Do we have any newcomers, or visitors from outside of the area? Please introduce yourself so that we can get to know you after the meeting.
  5. We also recognize progress in sobriety. Please raise your hand if you are celebrating any of the following sobriety milestones:
    • 24 hours?
    • Anyone recommitting?
    • 30 days?
    • 90 days?
    • Any SAA birthdays?
  6. Would someone please read The Twelve Steps?
  7. Leader reads from Answers in the Heart or Voices of Recovery.
  8. At this meeting, we read the Twelve Steps of S.A.A, as they are described in the Green Book.  Tonight, we will be discussing Step ___.

As the leader, I will read the Step aloud for five minutes. If unfinished, we will then bookmark the Step and pick up in the same place next week. After the Step has been read, I will share for a maximum of ten minutes. During my share, I will relate tonight’s Step to my life and recovery. When my share ends, sharing by our Brothers will begin, as determined by the Secretary. Each person may share for a maximum of three minutes. All are encouraged to relate tonight’s step to their life and recovery during their share. If someone is getting too explicit with their share, you may signal by raising your hand or otherwise appropriately getting the attention of the Secretary. To avoid triggering your fellow addicts, we ask that you avoid mentioning specific acting out places, street names, websites or publications in your share. The timekeeper will give you a hand signal or a verbal warning when you have one minute remaining, and when your allotted time has expired. If time allows, those who arrived after 6:00 will be invited to share after sharing is completed by those who arrived before 6:00. Sharing will end at 6:50. 

  1. Read tonight’s Step, then share.
  2. (When leader’s share ends) It’s now time for shares.  You are encouraged to relate tonight’s Step to your life and recovery during your share.  If you are unable to relate tonight’s Step in your life and recovery, feel free to share about how any of The Twelve Steps relate to your life and recovery.
  3. (6:50) Discussion will now end, it is time for the Secretary to cover the business portion of the meeting.
  4. If you see a brother in public outside of this meeting, please do not acknowledge him.  Anonymity and confidentiality are essential to this being a safe place for all of us.  Whoever you see here, whatever you hear here, let it stay here when you leave here.
  5.  I have asked ______ to read the Prayer of Saint Francis. 

We will now have a moment of silent meditation for the sex addict who still suffers, followed by the Lord’s Prayer.  I will recite the Prayer aloud – please remain muted, and recite along with me. Keep coming back.

(Updated 2023-11-22.)

Abstinence Statement

Our primary purpose is to abstain from sexually compulsive behavior, and help others to achieve abstinence. In line with this purpose, we feel that a brief statement regarding the meaning of abstinence is in order.

First, we define abstinence in terms of behavior rather than mental states. We do not focus our efforts upon abstaining from mental “lust”, but from compulsive behavior. Just as A.A. focuses on the need to stop the behavior of drinking, and as O.A. focuses on compulsive eating as the point of abstinence, so S.A.A. focuses on compulsive sexual acting out. The lust of the mind may take years to drain away as one works the twelve steps of recovery; abstinence from the destructive and addictive behaviors, however, can begin today, and is the basic foundation upon which all subsequent personal growth depends. “Progress rather than perfection” is the atmosphere for growth that we seek to promote.

Secondly, abstinence will be different for each member of S.A.A., depending upon what behaviors are compulsive and lead to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. Some addicts can engage in sexual behaviors from which other addicts find they must abstain; in S.A.A., we leave the choice up to the individual.

Finally, abstinence does not imply the complete elimination of sexuality from the addict’s life, whether married, partnered or single; rather, it lays the foundation for learning a new approach to the experience of sex and relationships which is non-compulsive and non-destructive. Such an approach is possible to all who earnestly desire it.

(Downloadable Leader’s Format)

The 12 Steps

  1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior–that our lives had become unmanageable. 
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God. 
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 
  7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. 
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. 
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out. 
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

The 12 Traditions

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon SAA unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority — a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for SAA membership is a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or SAA as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the sex addict who still suffers.
  6. An SAA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the SAA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every SAA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Sex Addicts Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. SAA, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Sex Addicts Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the SAA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace!

That where there is hatred, I may bring love.

That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.

That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.

That where there is error, I may bring truth.

That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.

That where there is despair, I may bring hope.

That where there are shadows, I may bring light.

That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted.

To understand, than to be understood.

To love, than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.

It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

The Lord’s Prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done on earth,

as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil:

For thine is the kingdom,

and the power, and the glory,

forever. Amen.

Keep coming back, it works if you work it and you’re worth it!